Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
