he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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