Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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