Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
