The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
