She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i believe in u and ur pee
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
