What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
