Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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