are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
