god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
