apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
