I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
