Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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