Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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