Im at strip club and am horny
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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