I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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