i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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