I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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