i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
