So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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