he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
