I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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