He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
