i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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