She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
