Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
