oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sorry about my life...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
