Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
