We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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