I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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