oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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