Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
