You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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