Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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