This show inspires me to have sex in space
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
