Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
