:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
