went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
