Jerry, you need to find god
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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