I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
