I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
