***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
