1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
