is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
