don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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