Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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