so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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