dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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