We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
