i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
