Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
