I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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