dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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