my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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