The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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