my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
only you would photoshop your dick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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