everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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