apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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