I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
