it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
