Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
